When You’re in Pain I’m in Pain

No one said life would be easy but I’m sure no one would have imagined that it would be this hard! There are daily struggles and obstacles that must be overcome while on the road to happiness. Just know that through it all I am always here for you! Rest assured that when times get rough and you feel you are at your worst and have no one to turn to that you do have at least 1 person you can count on! Whether you need a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, or just someone who can sit in total silence and know exactly what you are saying I am here! There is a bond between us that no one will ever be able to understand and that bond will NEVER be broken. I pray for you daily and hope that God blesses you with everything that you deserve! You are my heart and soul that’s why I am hurt deeply when you are sad! No one should have to endure the physical, mental, and emotional pain that you have been through! With each of your tears I feel that a part of my heart is torn away as well. When I hear you are sad or you had a bad day I want to just stop what I am doing and try to fix it, but we know things are not as simple as that! A woman as beautiful, talented, and caring as yourself deserves nothing but the best and I hope that one day…

S.I.N.G.L.E. Ladies?

The song “single ladies” by Beyonce became a ladies anthem and had women going crazy telling their men and ex men “if you like/liked it then you should/should have put a ring on it”. Well my question is are you really deserving of that ring that you so eagerly desire? Here is a brief summary of some of the qualities that I think “single ladies” should possess. Enjoy!

S.exy
I don’t care what anyone says LOOKS MATTER!! Now with that being said determining if a person is sexy or not is more than physical attributes. To me how attractive a woman is lies deeper than her voluptuous breasts, tantalizing thighs, or that smile that can make any man melt like a snowman in July. Being sexy is also the way a woman carries herself. The way she walks, talks, and dresses are other things that help determine if a woman is sexy or not. Women who speak with sense and don’t have to resort to dropping “F bombs” or other such words to get their point across are a real turn on!! A woman who knows how to accentuate certain positive assets without giving a peep show is very sexy! Ladies its ok to wear your dresses and skirts but when its so short your butt is hanging out then it goes from being sexy to being slutty!! You should be able to accentuate certain physical features while leaving something to the imagination!

I.ndependent
What are you bringing to the table? There is nothing worse than trying to get to know someone and find out they have nothing to offer! If you are going to “make yourself available” at least make sure you are worth the investment when someone does come along. You don’t have to own a home or have 2, 3, 4 cars but you do need to at least have a job and be able to provide for yourself. I mean realistically how can you expect someone to want to build with you when the position you are in will only subtract from them?

N.urturer
The goal of any meaningful relationship should be the lifetime commitment of marriage. As a potential mate are you a nurturer. Do you have the ability to bring a child into the world and raise them in a loving and stable environment? Are you willing to be a preacher, teacher, mother, father, friend, lover, confidant. When times get hard will you still be around to be the backbone to your mate? Are you strong enough to help them pick up the pieces when things fall apart?

G.oal Oriented
You should always have some goals in life that you want to achieve. There should be a nice mixture of personal and career aspirations. These goals could be something as small as to stop using profanity as much or something more elaborate such as becoming the CEO of your own company. You should always strive and push yourself to be the best person that you can be no matter what!!

L.ovable
Are you lovable? Are you willing to allow a deserving person to come into your life and shower you with the desire, affection, and love that you crave? If not what’s the purpose of you trying to be in a relationship? Who honestly wants to build with a person who has a predetermined notion that this is not going to work because of something that happened in the past?

E.ntertaining
No one wants to be with a boring person. Who wants to sit around and go through repetitive routines day after day after day? Entertainment doesn’t necessarily mean you have to go out every day! Being entertaining could be something as simple as being able to hold a decent conversation. Any fool is able to have a good time while out in public on the weekend! The thing that sets the great apart from the good is the ability to create fun, entertaining moments when there seemingly is nothing to do. For example its a stormy wednesday evening and your plans are ruined because of the weather. Do you disappoint and say something like I guess we will have to reschedule for another day or can you come up with another plan that involves you spending quality time with the person you are trying to get to know?

So now that I have let you in on some of the qualities that I think “single ladies” should possess…are you S.I.N.G.L.E.?

To my future love

Ok so I wrote a letter to my future love composed of song titles. For those wondering it is not about a particular person because I’m single!! Lol The words that are in quotations (“ ”) are actual song titles just an fyi.

“Yeah” I like “miss independent”, I can appreciate that “she got her own” but I wish you would let me be the “best man I can be” and “take care of home”. Its “written all over your face” that you “crave” a “tender love” when all you have to do is “say it” and we can embark on the road of “happily ever after”. “Here and now” I “promise “to do “anything” to “put that woman first”. Yes there was a time when I was “unfaithful” and chased women for meaningless “s.e.x”. I have left a couple of women “broken hearted” but I can’t “turn back the hands of time” so I will apologize and move “on to the next”. Well that was a “lesson learned” and it made me a “better man” and I now know a “woman’s worth”! To my future “homie lover friend,” “when God made you” He did indeed make an “angel.” I have chosen to give up the “player way” and settle down with Mrs. Right as a “one woman man”. I hope you will accept me “flaws and all” and love me “until the end of time” because I would simply be “lost without you.” “You” truly are “heaven sent” and have helped me get rid of the “icebox” in my chest. You made me realize that “I need love” and no matter what I accomplish that my life is “incomplete” without an “angel of mine”. There are “still” many “questions” that need to be answered, but I want to “thank you in advance” for allowing me to “cater to you”. I have waited “all my life” for someone who could give me a “chocolate high” and show me that “real love” does exist. I am waiting patiently to get “on bended knee” and start something “golden” with “the one”! “Until” then I will sit here with my “dreams” and “pray” for the day that I can say “there goes my baby”!

Mrs Right!

Where do I begin? This woman is perfect in so many ways! Could it be her smooth brown skin or her beautiful brown eyes? Yep it could be or it could be her smile that warms my heart every time I see it! The feeling I get when she is around makes me want to drop to my knees and pray to God for what I have found. I love it when she sits in my arms and lay and tells me about her day I also like it when we listen to music and dance the night away.

I love the way her body curves in all the right places and the look that she has when she is making those “faces”. Its something about the fullness of her lips and the way that she smiles when I grab her by the hips! Her skin feels so good next to mine and its like magic the way our bodies intertwine! I’m drunk from her love as if I having been sipping the best cognac or maybe even finest wine!

But what I like most is not even physical! I love her intelligence strength and determination. It is something about her uncanny desire to be successful that turns me on in so many ways! I like how she is well rounded and has the perfect blend of book, street, and common sense! I love how she values family and has a great relationship with God! From the first time we met I knew you were the 1 I just didn’t know how, when, or where to start! I could go on and on but there is really no need to… Mrs Right reveal yourself I am ready to say “I Do”!

Take Pride and Stop Settling!!

1st off this is not about anyone in particular just my thoughts at the time if it offends anyone or gets under you skin I’m sorry!!! That’s my disclaimer lol

Alright so I wrote a blog a while back entitled “Man Up” and needless to say I received a lot of feed back from the women oh but you had to know your day was coming! I hate when a woman walks around feeling sorry for herself because some nothing ass dude has “broken her heart”! I think that is the biggest yet most frequently used bunch of bs I have ever heard! I mean for real ok it didn’t work out build a bridge and get over that ish! Why would you sit around and waste time and tears while the guy has moved on and is enjoying his life without you?? The funny thing is a lot of women claim they are mad and are frustrated with the guy in their life yet they can’t seem to let go. Why do women continue to settle for a “man” that they say do not treat them right? Why would you want to be second or even third place for a guy whom you know has no intention of changing or settling down with you? How can you continue to let a guy talk bad to you and blatantly do stuff to disrespect you and then say “I know he loves me” or things like “it wasn’t always like this”? True enough in the beginning it may have been all good but what about now? If it is not all good now why stick around? I’m not saying just up and run when stuff gets bad because if you do that you will never have anything meaningful in life but what I am saying is if you are in a situation where you have tried to reason and you have given the benefit of the doubt and things seem to be getting worse why are you there? The saying is kind of cliché’ but you can do bad all by yourself. Seriously though its time out for all of the excuses that you make for a man. If it is not what you want or a situation that you know you should not be in then GET OUT!! It may be hard at first with the lonely nights and stuff like that but in the long run you will feel better about yourself and you will probably start to find more time to focus on doing the things that make you happy.

Another thing that irks me is a triflin’ woman!! Ladies get it together at least make an effort to keep yourself up. There is nothing sexier to me than a woman who reeks of confidence and who keeps her hair, hands, and toes done! Ladies take time out for yourself and get pampered! Go and have a spa day where you have a nice massage or something of that nature. That to me shows that you really care about yourself! Now don’t get it twisted I’m not saying go and cake on piles of make up because that ish really is not cute. I would rather see you with the natural beauty if you want to put on a little eye liner or some lip liner or something that’s cool, but for these women who are walking around with all this excess makeup on looking like a damn clown come on CUT IT OUT it is not cute!!

I also get tired of women blaming their shortcomings on their “baby daddy”. If you have a child by a dude that is not in your child’s life true enough it is an unfortunate situation but by all means don’t use that as an excuse!! I can guarantee that you are not the first “single” parent and you damn sure won’t be the last. Being a single parent should actually motivate you more to go out and work harder to provide the kind of life that you want for you and your child. It’s funny how so many women say “my baby daddy aint shit” and “I am struggling trying to raise this/these child/children on my own” yet you still allow him to come through late night and have “adult time” with you…why? Chances are you knew the dude was nothing before you laid up with him and got pregnant so why are you so shocked that he is not there now? It is also frustrating when a woman claims she can barely make ends meet yet she is in the club every week! Of course by her going to the club she has to go and buy a new outfit and sit at the beauty shop to get the do did but her child is walking around looking like a raggedy Ann doll. Hair all nappy, old clothing, and worn shoes!! For real…where are your priorities?

Come on ladies woman up stop making excuses and saying what you cannot do and why you cannot do it!! Take time out re-evaluate the things and people in your life and if you feel as if they do not fit or they are not doing you any good get rid of it!! Instead of chasing up behind a man and making things so “easy” sit back get yourself together and make us work! Believe me when I tell you this THE ONES WHO ARE REALLY INTERESTED IN GETTING TO KNOW YOU WILL WORK TO TEAR DOWN WHATEVER WALLS YOU HAVE BUILT!! Now everyone has slip ups there are times when you just have “chemistry” and you want to have an “experience” with a guy but if that is the case then take it for what it is and stop thinking that you are “the one” because really that is not the case!!

To the women who “get it” congratulations!! You realize that when the time is right your prince charming will come along probably when you least expect it and he will sweep you off of your feet and there will be no doubt that he is Mr. Right! You understand what being a woman is all about and you know how to keep a man happy. Although you may not be quite where you want to be right now you do have GOALS and you are working to ACHIEVE those goals. You understand that stock options and a retirement plan are more important than getting in clubs free or riding on 24’s. You are not running up behind a man and letting him dictate your life because you have your priorities together and you are focused on living your life for you, loving yourself, and working on your future! Women you are the BEST THING that has ever happened to man act like it and quit settling for less than you are truly worth!!

A Special Gift

There is a certain gift that you do not get on birthdays, anniversaries, or Christmas! This gift does not come in a box or gift-wrapped and it normally comes when you least expect it! This gift is not a physical gift yet you can still see and feel it!! This particular gift is probably the most fragile gift you will ever receive however this gift cannot be bought in stores, online, or anywhere else for that matter! Personally I think this is one of the most precious gifts you can ever receive and it takes a special person to accept this gift. The person receiving this gift has to be strong, willing to listen, and willing to compromise and make sacrifices. This person should also be willing to take constructive criticism and be able to admit when they are wrong. You will know when you get this gift because it will be an experience that you will never want to end! This is a gift that you should be willing to protect by any means necessary and when given this gift you should do your best to never lose or have this gift “taken away”. This gift is so special that it should be treated as one of your most valuable possessions because in reality you may not have a second chance to receive this gift. Although this gift is so special it doesn’t come with an instruction manual or a guide on how to probably care for it. This knowledge is gained by trial and error and if the person really wants you to have this gift they will be patient enough to allow you to make a mistake or two until you get it right!!! Don’t be a fool though you have to know that eventually that patience wears thin and then runs out!! This gift is a woman’s heart!!! A woman’s heart is a very special gift. If she gives it to a person and they choose to not protect it then they don’t deserve it!! I know… I have lost this gift not once but twice!!!

Random Questions

Time waits for no one and once it is gone you can never get it back. In life there are certain things that you have to learn. Supposedly patience is one of those things. But while you are being patient aren’t you wasting time? What is a reasonable amount of time to wait for anything? How long should you wait on someone to get himself or herself together? These are just random questions that I have been thinking lately while I have been reading different books and talking to different people. In life there are a bunch of uncertainties and things normally never go as planned. What do you do then? When something doesn’t go as you once planned do you move forward and roll on or do you use those events as an excuse to be mad at the world? Me personally I try to take bad situations learn from them and just move forward because what’s done is done and there isn’t anything we can do after it has happened, but I am starting to see that even for me it is not always that simple!!

 

Talk is CHEAP!! Yes I know it sounds a bit cliché’ but I am starting to really see just how cheap it is. I am so tired of people telling me one thing and then going and doing the exact opposite. I mean at what point do you start to lose your credibility? Recent events are teaching me to believe none of what I hear and only half of what I see because people can always say what you want to hear and for a brief stretch they can tailor their actions to those same words. Someone once told me “words are just words; actions are what count” and I am starting to see this statement for what it really is!!!

 

What happens when you date someone and then hear I think we are better off as just friends? Me I have always been a friend first romance later type of guy anyway. I want to get to know a person inside and out before I decide to just up and jump in a relationship with them. I guess my question is what make you want to be friends but don’t want to be romantically involved? How do you differentiate between who remains a friend and who you actually want to be with? What keeps the other person from thinking well damn if I’m not good enough to be with why would you want me as a friend? If you develop feelings for a person are you able to go back to being that same friend or will there be too much damage done from the feeling of being rejected? Yea I know this has been pretty random but these are just some of the thoughts going on in my mind currently!!

Happy Anti-love Day

All of the hoopla over February 14^th is really becoming sickening!! I mean really people go out and spend an abundance of money to supposedly show someone how much they care about them on that day!! Whoop dee eff’n doo lol No seriously though a year is 365 days so what about the other 364 days? Do you not still love that person or is it just not acceptable to show that you love them on that day? It’s funny because once upon a time valentine’s day was one of my favorite holidays because I believed in love and everything that love had to offer but here lately I’m starting to see that love really doesn’t mean much of anything! When I was younger I was taught love conquers all and if you love yourself and/or whoever you are with you can make it through anything. As I have gotten older and especially recently I am starting to see that this is not true. There is nothing that can work on love alone. Love doesn’t pay bills! Love doesn’t get you ahead in life nor does it get you a college degree. Naw what gets you what you want out of life is not love its hard-work, dedication, and sacrifice!!! I’m also realizing it is even harder to love someone when in reality they don’t want to be loved!!! I’m the type of guy that if I really love someone I am willing to sacrifice whatever I need to in order to make that person happy and those who really know me know this to be true. A lot of people talk about wanting to have somebody to love them for them, someone to share forever with, and other “bs” like that but how many of them really mean it? There are things that love can do. Love can really make you feel unappreciated!! When in love you do things that you normally wouldn’t do and if the person you are in love with is not putting forth the same effort or does not love you then you really are getting a raw deal!!! Love can make you lose things like your mind, (needing therapy after being heartbroken) your life (having to start over after being left in a bad situation) and possibly your best friend. So I apologize now if I seem a bit negative towards February 14^th but at this point I really do not have a reason to celebrate Valentine’s Day because seemingly love has passed me up again so far this year!! For all of the people in love right now I wish you all the very best as you celebrate valentine’s day but for those of you who are like me I want to be the first to wish you a HAPPY ANTI-LOVE DAY

A love letter full of song titles!!!

Ok this is very random but this is a love letter composed of song titles hope you enjoy

 

My homie, lover, friend, we have had our good times and our bad times. Once upon a time we made the decision to separate and while we were apart I realized that none else comes close to making me feel the way that you do. I am extremely happy that things came back full circle. I do realize that you are still brokenhearted and need a little understanding from me. I hope that you know that no matter what you are going through I’ll be there. I also just want to say that I want you back and you are my good thang. When I’m with you something comes over me and let’s me know that when God made you He indeed made an angel. I hope that one day we can share an everlasting love and I’ll get down on one knee and say let’s get married. I’m sorry for the pain that I have caused you and I’m here on bended knee asking you to give me another chance. These last couple of days I have been crying uncontrollably and nobody knows it but me!! We know everything about each other and rest assured your secrets are safe with me. I love the way you make me feel and the closer I get to you it makes me want to trade it all just to have the opportunity to call you my boo. I truly believe that you are heaven sent and have waited all my life to have someone like you. Yes we will have our differences but as long, as we be careful and take care of home everything will be all right!! I know that you still have questions about me and wonder if I can really stay down but you can rest assured I know that you are irreplaceable. I never thought I could feel this way about anyone but something about you has gotten me lost in love and I’d give anything to have you home again. I will do anything for you but I really need to know can you stand the rain? If it isn’t love why did you cry me a river on my shoulder. I crave for your crazy love and hope that we can try again. Just in case I hadn’t told you, I am so fortunate to have a P.Y.T. like you in my life. I realize a woman’s worth and I refuse to lose you over senseless, selfish emotions. Baby I want to cater to you and treat you like the superstar that you are!! Cause I love you I am willing to accept you flaws and all even though I know you are working to correct them. Here I am saying baby I’m yours through the good, bad, and ugly and I pray that your love don’t change. I’m crazy over you and my question to you is can you handle it? I’ll wait for you until you get yourself together even if that means waiting til the end of time!!  Baby will you give your past one last cry and let it go so that we can complete this Cinderella story?

Thank you to our educators!!

With so much going on these days I just want to take time to give thanks to the educators of our children. Until recently I never realized how much “bs” that the educators of America have to put up with. Not only do they have to teach the kids but they also have to deal with the politics associated with being a teacher.

 

Imagine being the parent of 100+ kids. Yes I know its very difficult to do and you are probably thinking no one in their right mind would ever have that many kids! But hey couldn’t you compare that to being a schoolteacher.

 

Stay with me, a parent has to know how to deal with the different personalities of all of their kids. Well so does a teacher. There are no 2 students who are exactly alike so the teacher has to know how to get each student to stay on task and also have to be able to find ways to get the best out of every student.

 

A parent has to discipline their child. Guess what so does a teacher. Every now and then you will have students who get out of line and you have to find ways to deal with it. Yes I know my thought would be send them to the office and not deal with them. What good is that going to do the next day they will be right back in class dong the same thing and you can’t send them to the office too many times because then the administration start looking at you as if you cannot control your students and question your abilities as a teacher.

 

A parent cares about their child and wants to make a difference in their life. What other reason would there be to be a teacher other than wanting to make a difference in a child’s life. I mean the profession is probably one the most important yet underpaid professions out there so there has to be the self gratification that yes I did make a difference that keeps them going.

 

A parent teaches his child life lessons and right from wrong. While in their class the good teachers hope to reach at least on child and hope that they can teach at least one person something that will help them out throughout the rest of their life.

 

A parent has to have patience when they are teaching their child new things. So does that child’s teacher! I know there are some days that these men and women want to just walk out the classroom or question why they even give a damn. Thankfully they maintain that patience and dedicate themselves daily to help our youth succeed in the “real world”.

 

I just want to take the time to say THANK YOU to the great men and women who take on the very unenvious task of being an educator in the school systems all over America.  Thank you for dealing with our kids on their best and worst days. Thanks for having the patience to want to teach our kids the basics they need for success. Thanks for giving those kids who may not have a stable environment something positive to look at!!! To the parents of the kids train your children right!! There is only so much a teacher can do in the 55 minutes a day that they have your child. That is your child and it is your job to raise them correctly. Support that teacher if they call you about a problem with your child then more than likely your child is messing up somewhere. Don’t fall for the excuses like “she just don’t like me” or “the whole class failed that test”! Don’t go to the school acting a fool talking about why did you give my child a “f”? Instead turn around and ask your child what didn’t you do to earn this “f”!! Once again thanks to the educators of America you guys are the BEST!!!

 

No I’m not a teacher but I know a few and this is just some of the problems they deal with on a daily basis!! Feel free to comment and add your own. LOL